Changing MY World-One Thought at a Time!

I'm a woman...I can change my mind any time I want~~~ It's my World that is slow to change!!

Prayers
Current mood: stressed

 

Sometimes only God knows our exact needs.... Only God can help.... We don't have to spell it out because he is all knowing...

 That can be a good thing or a bad thing. It means he knows before we ask, and it means he KNOWS even our deapest thoughts and feelings before we are ready or willing to tell.

No secret is sacred between us and God.........................But NO problem should be road block between us either................. it's easy for us to say that and yet so hard to let go and let God take over.............Sometimes the harder we try the harder it becomes...........

So as my friends............... Please pray for those unspoken requests......... God knows what they are...............I just need a little extra reminders going up.....

Thanks~~~~~~~~~~

posted by: Mernie at March 28, 2007 10:22 | link | comments |

Shaky Hands

What does it mean when your hands shake?? I ran in to K today... My hands started to shake before I realized what was happening it seemed my whole body was shaking. I couldn't get my car unlocked quick enough..........Damnit... I'm not 15...............His arms went around me and he just hugged me, kissed my forehead and said don't shake................. He started to kiss me but I drew back. I looked him straight in the face, said sorry I can't do this, turned got in my car and drove off.. I didn't look back................. ...................   He called... I didn't answer.........................................

Lately he is everywhere I go............. or so it seems............. it makes me want to not go anywhere............

It's been 2 yrs............. why does it still hurt.............. even when I know how much I have to loose..... even when I tell myself....................... NEVER again!!! I just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world.......

I love my family............... I love my husband.............................. am I some horrible person for allowing him to invade my thoughts.................... or to control my emotions................................   That winning smile and I'm worthless..........................DammmnnnnnnnnniiiiiTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

posted by: Mernie at March 27, 2007 11:01 | link | comments (1) |

Spring Break

Spring Break is suppose to be fun right?? There is suppose to be sunshine and bright days with tons of energy to spare..?? Right???

Well not mine. About a week or more ago son #3 called.. He was at the emergency room at the hospital he works at. He had that new strand of flue that everyone is getting and no one can seem to get rid of. We drove up there and brought him home for the week.   Now he is feeling better and you guessed it..It's been about 3 or 4 days since I felt like doing anything. I get up shower, grab a blanket throw and snuggle in my recliner, sleep off and on all day then head for the bedroom where I again fall right to sleep until almost noon the next day.. My energy level is Zero~~~~~

So much for starting to pack for the move~~ or shopping for new clothes for my trip~~~I'm lucky to get the dishwasher loaded in 24 hrs, or a load of laundry actually done and put up.

I again agreed to fish a tournament circuit with hubby this year. Mostly because he didn't seem to want to go and leave me home alone. We had fun last year.. I wasn't much help toward winning but we laughed alot at my lack of ability. This weekend is the first tournament on Lake Murray........

I'm not sure I even feel up to the drive, (4 hrs one way)  let alone the two days of fishing. The weather has been horrible this week. Bordering on rain every minute. Yucky sticky weather..................... Not my favorite kind of days...................

Somebody get me out of this funk!!!! I have felt so yucky I won't even answer the phone... That is what voice mail is for right???

#2 Son got upset with me for not answering my phone. He went on a ski trip to Colorado. The rule has always been call when you arrive so I know you made it there safe.. I didn't answer the phone. The message he left was..Well Mom, just in case your wondering we didn't make it here safe.. We got detoured to Mexico. I won't be home until some one comes to recue me and smuggles me back across the border........................... So Answer your DAMN PHONE!! Immediately following was a text message.. Arrived safe..... You must be in the Casino because you didn't answer your phone... Love ya.. H.....

Even when I'm sick I'm still expected to be at everyone beck and call ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  I have to admit.. it's been over a week since I read anything on Motime.. Please forgive me.. but my head hurts...... I'm out of here for now................................

posted by: Mernie at March 22, 2007 10:01 | link | comments |